Childlike doubt

I've recently been helping to lead a "seekers' class" at church based on the Starting Point materials from Northpoint Church in Atlanta. During a discussion about doubt, it became evident that several in the group were concerned about whether belief and doubt were mutually exclusive.

One person even mentioned where Jesus said (Luke 18:15-17) we have to come to God "like a child." This didn't seem right to me in this context. It quickly occurred to me that neither ignorance nor lack of doubt were implied here, but something else.

I think the childlikeness referred to is that of dependence and trust, not ignorance or total lack of doubt. Doubt is not a sign of disbelief, nor does it show lack of faith. I remember reading in Os Guiness' great book In Two Minds (now rereleased as God in the Dark) about how the famous atheist Bertrand Russell lost his faith. It made a such a great impression on me that I still remember it after 25 years or so. He quoted a well-known autobiographical passage about Russell's youth:

I became exceedingly religious and consequently anxious to know whether there was any good grounding for supposing religion to be true. For the next four years a great part of my time was spent in secret meditation upon this subject. I could not speak to anybody about it for fear of giving pain. I suffered acutely, both from the gradual loss of faith and the necessity of silence

Guiness explained (I'm going on memory now, I can't go look it up because after 2 years most of our books are still in boxes) that Russell's problems were threefold:

1. He believed in the wrong things (Unitarianism)
2. He believed for the wrong reasons (the classical theistic proofs)
3. He was afraid to discuss his doubts with anyone

Guiness discussed all three, but I want to focus on the last one. What does it mean when we are afraid to face doubt? It means that we are afraid that if we pursue it, we will confirm the doubt rather than our faith. In other words, to be afraid to pursue the truth about a doubt that we have about — say theodicy or origins to name a couple of things we had been discussing in the class — is to admit that we really don't trust God and want to hold on to faith for other reasons.

So, back to this "childlikeness" stuff: Suppose you're four years old and your standing at the edge of the pool. Your Dad is encouraging you to jump in. "Go ahead! I'll catch you!" he calls. You have doubts. What if he's playing a trick on me? What if he drops me? You're scared, you don't know what's going to happen, you have doubts, but you jump because ultimately you trust your Dad.

So, go ahead and doubt, but use your doubts to prod you to pursue the truth.

Go ahead and jump.